Shooting Star

Here's another great contract bid request. Any contract programming buyers out there interested in what actual programmers think about some of these job requests - here it is:

* You must be star, as in expert.
How about expert as in expert.

* You must have YOUR OWN portfolio to back it up.
Does this mean you want someone whos portfolio reflects their own projects, and not contract jobs they work on? Because, really, what other portfolio would the be?

* You must be available 40 hours per week for consistent hours. ( I don't care what your schedule is, but if it is 9-5pm, then you had better be at your computer for all of those hours working on my assignments. )
I think what you're looking for here is employee. Yeah, I understand that some contract workers take exclusive contracts. But really, isn't the point of working contract (at least in this case where the contract isn't for a binding term) having multiple jobs for security?

* You must have a reliable internet connection.
Why would you even need to put this in? Unless you expect 100% reliable. But then, the internet isn't 100% reliable.

* You must get tasks complete with detail oriented programming. ( I need someone who thinks, not a robot on a task list. I need you to look ahead and behind and keep an eye out for what the task list problems and effects can be. )
Detail Oriented Programming - had not heard of that programming methodology yet.

* You must have ALL of the following.

1. PHP - Advanced knowledge, including frameworks, SVN, Zend certified preferred.
2. MySQL - Goes with the territory for PHP.
3. AJAX - And all the things considered such, even when they really aren't.
Now there's clarity.
4. CSS - I am a CSS master, so I will know if you aren't on the level.
Ewww...CSS Master. You're going to be great fun to work with.
5. XHTML - Your markup should be clean, and only necessary.
Kinda like that sentence, huh.

Do you think you have what it takes?
What? Low self-esteem, and the desire to work with unrealistic expectations?
I will not settle for disappointment.
So when things don't go your way, what exactly to you settle for?
I only want someone who can provide the best code, on the tightest deadlines we will not get along.
Best Code - Tightest Deadlines: Generally those two don't go together. But I'm pretty you got the last part nailed.

Here's the best part, they've never hired anyone for more than $16/hour. Amazing.

Tim Lytle [01/08/09 18:59:59] | 1 Comment | Stream