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Relax a'Little

Perhaps you, like me, think that there's really only 3 people in the country who don't know who they're voting for - everyone else has known for six months. And we're tired of it. It's getting bad. It's effecting my life. I now look in the fridge and say - I could have the ham - but ham only wants to see me and my children die. I could have some turkey - the same turkey that was the last meal for over 30,000 minority children last year alone.

Need a break? Check out scrappleface.com, it's relaxing. Some recent headlines:

Pa. Governor Puts Slot Machines in Voting Booths

Earlier this year, the governor won approval to place thousands of slots throughout the Commonwealth in order to increase funding for essential government services, like remedial math education and gambling addiction treatment programs.

Electoral College Added to Michael Moore Speaking Tour

"None of the money goes to my bank account," said Mr. Moore. "It's all eaten up in tour expenses."

And, interesting note for those geographically close - the author of scrappleface is the director of Victory Valley.

Tim Lytle [10/29/04 23:52:05] | 0 Comments | Point

Axis of Weasels

Just an update about those who should be our allies. Or those that we should be allies with. Or those allies we should have the approval of. Whatever.

Seems that all the weapons weren't missing when we got to that ammo dump. Well, there were at least crates still there. Crates labeled in French and German. Well, that makes sense - I mean French is the international language. Oh? It's not? Guess it's the international language of arms dealers.

And the arms that weren't there? Seems they were 'relocated' by Russian special forces. Before we got to them. Before we could secure them. Before we could ensure they didn't 'fall' into the hands of terrorists.

And that Yasser Arafat guy. Where does the worlds most public terrorist leader go when he gets a little sick? Where else? Paris. France.

Ya know, I think they're right. We shouldn't fight any war without the support of our allies. Well, I guess if we had the support of our allies maybe we wouldn't need to fight a war.

Tim Lytle [10/29/04 11:45:50] | 1 Comment | Point

Rendellism

With the art, poise and balance only Gabe possesses, he carefully crafts into words his views and feelings about the current absentee ballot controversy in Pennsylvania.

Thunk.

The sound of the Moron Magnet being turned on.

Oh, and ya'll know that Rendell was the chairman of the DNC once - right?

Tim Lytle [10/28/04 21:52:09] | 0 Comments | Point

The Greatest Game on Earth

[The ever commenting Harry weighs in with his insight on baseball in this guest post.]

Congratulation Red Sox Nation. Congratulation Baseball. It doesn't getany better than this. You don't have dynasties like the Yankees in anyother sport. You don't have rivalries in any other sports like the Red Soxvs. the Yankees. You don't have a curse like this in any other team. Itjust isn't there (but you might find a salary cap - see NFL).

Tonight's game proves that America's favorite pastime is the greatest sportof all time and it came courtesy of the Red Sox. 86 years without a WorldSeries victory, the curse of Babe Ruth, Bucky Dent's game winning homer in1978, Bill Buckner's miscue in 1986, and Aaron Boone's long ball in 2003. But this isn't the end, we still have the Cubs, and they have a longerstreak going - try 96 years.

Oh, and those of you who would like to smear this Red Sox stuff in my face?Win 20 more World Championships and we'll talk.

harry the historian...

Tim Lytle [10/28/04 09:51:04] | 0 Comments | Point

A Lot

There is much to write about, unfortunately I don't have time to write it. From late absentee ballots disenfranchising the votes of those oversea, and truthless accusations that when evaluated destroy the position of the accusers, to the 'cost' of doing the right thing and the myth of a 'country divided'.

Perhaps later, but there's only one week left.

Until then, remember - vote.

But more importantly - pray.

"The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will."

And in this government, we are the king.

Tim Lytle [10/26/04 21:29:30] | 0 Comments | Point

Week In Review

[And it's still alive - this week Eric tries on the WIR. Enjoy. Oh, and you wanna try? Just let me know.]

A Week...
...full to the brim of attacks,criticisms, and punches, but President Bush still holds a small lead. A few things especially stand out:

Kerry the Hunter?
Sen. Kerry tries to appear like an average American (i.e. windsurfing, skiing, and now hunting). It's hard for him to appear average since he has 5 mansions, a yacht, a private jet, and enough money to feed China. But when he wants to express himself as a hunter, that's going overboard because his 20 year senate record is clearly against guns! The whole story about how he "shot" a goose is very unclear, and frankly, funny. Read it yourself.

Breaking the Curse in a Miracle
Who would have thought that when the New York Yankees win the first three games of a series, they would lose it? Well, not the Boston Red Sox, who, just broke a curse set on them of never winning an ALCS since they traded Babe Ruth since he was "fat." Good Job, Liberalville!!!!!

[Tim: Yeah, before all you Yankee fans jump in - I know the 'curse' is them not winning the world series, because they have beat the Yankees and won the ALCS since trading Babe. But go ahead, litter the comments with you protests Yankee fans.]

Fidel Castro
This is way too funny to pass up. Especially after Fidel Castro proclaimed his victory over a hurricane like it was some kind of war.

[Tim: And here's one from me, just to add some serious political commentary to this otherwise light WIR.]

Endorse Who?
Around the opening of his movie 'Troy', Brad Pitt made the following comment about skirts and his wearing one in the film.

"Men will be wearing skirts by next summer. That's my prediction and proclamation."
No wonder he's endorsing Kerry.

And in other news the ' Muslim American Political Action Committee' has endorsed Kerry.

Bet that helped a lot.

Tim Lytle [10/24/04 21:41:55] | 326 Comments | Point

The Wrong War...

Well, we all know that the war in Iraq is 'the wrong war at the wrong time the wrong way'. Exactly when is it a 'good' time for a war?

Either way do you find former President Carter's comment on the war surprising?

"...the [war] could have been avoided. It was an unnecessary war."
Not surprised? But he wasn't talking about the war in Iraq. Nope. Here's a longer quote.

"I think another parallel is that in some ways the Revolutionary War could have been avoided. It was an unnecessary war.

Had the British Parliament been a little more sensitive to the colonialís really legitimate complaints and requests the war could have been avoided completely, and of course now we would have been a free country now as is Canada and India and Australia, having gotten our independence in a nonviolent way."

Brilliant.

On another topic - Jimmy Carter knows Kerry can handle terrorism, because Jimmy Carter knows terrorism.

[Update: Who says Canada and India and Australia would have gained independence if it wasn't for America fighting for her's?]

Tim Lytle [10/21/04 20:47:30] | 0 Comments | Point

Ashley's Story

You must go see this.

Well, what are you waiting for - go!

Tim Lytle [10/21/04 20:17:54] | 0 Comments | Point

Baseball?

I don't usually comment about sports. That's because I usually don't care that much, or don't know that much. Or both. But I will throw out my picks for the world series. I'm rooting for Boston to beat New York - right now it looks like that's gonna happen, and I'm hoping that the Astros take St. Louis.

Now before you start thinking I have some grudge against the Yankees because they've like won the world series more times then it's actually been played, and that I any team that has a bird for a mascot - let me tell ya, it's not like that.

I just want to see Texas play Massachusetts the week before the election. I'm not a sports fan, I'm just a shameless political hack.

[Update: And I want to see a sweep.]

Tim Lytle [10/20/04 23:29:23] | 4 Comments | Point

Fear and Trepidation II

Yes, it's happened again.

Survivor Bachelors

Dropped off my mom and the kid at a bus station today. They headed off to JFK to catch a flight to Prague. I'm sure they'll have a great trip.

So that means once again, we're on our own. Will we survive this twice? Who knows?

Tim Lytle [10/19/04 22:19:45] | 2 Comments | Point